Lost Cause
by LadyOfTheNight2
Summary: A few years after the group have left H, Foe and Ally are now the same. R&R please. xoxo
1. Angry eyes

I fall on the bed clutching my head  
  
These negative thoughts are driving me to the brink of insanity  
  
Tired of tears stinging my eyes  
  
Blurred eyesight, a howling in my ears  
  
My body is weak and I fight to breathe  
  
My brain is struggling to string together coherent thoughts  
  
I cough into my hand only to find blood  
  
I know I'm dying; I'm about to give up  
  
Faith has left me long ago; God is no longer on my side  
  
Empty cartons of cigarette boxes litter the floor of this shoebox  
  
The smell of burning books and smoke linger in the night air  
  
Windows fogged over, like my heart  
  
Love given up on, loyalty is discarded  
  
My hair is soaked by sweat; I shiver with the cold and continue to breath deeply  
  
Glowing embers slightly ignite the darkened room, my fingers twitch and the light is extinguished  
  
Incandescent brown orbs stare back at me from the broken mirror,  
  
Books with pages ripped out are thrown into a heap, some burned for heat, others just mutilated from hatred.  
  
A picture lays in the corner of the dingy room, green and blue gray eyes stare back with hatred  
  
I sneer and throw my discarded cigarette at it; I toss my blanket off my shoulders and burrow into the confines of my tiny bed.  
  
I can still feel the eyes burning into my back, I whip around and snarl at the picture, and I can almost see them shrink away.  
  
My friends are now enemies, foe and ally are now the same, darkness has clouded my brain  
  
My heart is as cold as ice, the icy rain dancing into front of my window pane are like the tears my heart now spills.  
  
Suicidal thoughts are always passing through the tolls of my brain; they are permanently kept in the back of my mind as though on extended stay.  
  
A mere thought is now persistently trying to grab my attention. I listen to its pitiful request and am now flooded by a newfound motivation.  
  
I painstakingly slip out of the creaky bed and slip on some pants and a pair of shoes. No need for a jacket, I now embrace the coldness.  
  
I wrench open the door and quickly decide on grabbing my wand,  
  
The picture almost glows with significance and I cast an amused glance at it, I walk slowly over to it and smirk down upon it " You'll be happy now, you can finally sleep well at night knowing that trash like me has now been disposed of." I crumple up the picture at their horrified expressions and cast it in the trash.  
  
I walk over to the door now and turn and look around the cramped one room apartment. I give it one last disgusted look before slamming the door shut and slowly make my way down the long, narrow staircase.  
  
I have sealed my fate, may I finally find my awaiting destiny.  
  
I walk out my apartment building with only one destination in mind, London Bridge. 


	2. Thermal

It's cold, wet nights like this, that we realize how alone we truly are,  
  
Loved ones seem so far away, and the wetness brings forth such coldness that the warmth we once harbored seeps out of our bodies into a mist that billows out of our mouths.  
  
I've never been one to fully loath or embrace the rain, but sometimes I feel as though God is crying down upon us, his lost cause, his disappointment, we are his mistake.  
  
My white thermal shirt is almost transparent, and I catch odd glances from old bags returning from grocery shopping, most likely because of my lack of coat, but I barely need one anymore, I've gotten so use to the cold.  
  
I feel so cynical glaring at families, old couples clutching each other underneath umbrellas, why must I be alone?  
  
Why is anyone alone? We all are potentially good people, and with that don't we deserve a loved one?  
  
Love, such a foolish word to one, like me, who squandered what she, had and what was, left of it.  
  
I am like a shriveled up flower that has been deprived of human touch, a kind word, an embrace.  
  
Cigarettes and Alcohol have been my friends for the past few years; they are the only things that have been beside my side, always near my grasp.  
  
I often cry myself to sleep knowing how pathetic I have been, my life has been retched away from me and I at times wonder why it happened to me.  
  
I was 1/3 of the Golden Trio, but in the end it meant shit to people, so I retreated into my mind, people scarcely hear of me anymore, not that they'd want to.  
  
I holed up in some dingy apartment, only coming out to work in some music store and to buy cigarettes, a bottle of vodka or everclear, or to buy some food, with what measly money I have.  
  
I could have never pictured my life to be like this, but like I always told people. "Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people." Funny, how my philosophy came true.  
  
I was getting closer to my destination, soon my retched life would end, and I would have my peace.  
  
My heart wrenched with the thought of the end of its beating, the final plunge to this sick nightmare. My breathing hitched and I had to lean against a wall to support my body.  
  
Now even my body was turning against me, but I would prevail, this was ending, I wasn't going to lead myself down a downward spiral into self-pity and hate, I couldn't anymore.  
  
I forced my weak arms to push against the wall and onwards, my legs moved sluggishly and my shoes make loud thuds on the wet pavement.  
  
I had to do this, for myself, for those that hate me, for the love that I lost, I had to end all pain, because it was eating me up inside.  
  
A lady walking past gently touched my arm and I looked at her indifferently.  
  
"Sweetheart are you ok? "  
  
"Of course I am."  
  
"Dear, you're crying"  
  
I narrowed my eyes at her and brought my icy fingers to my cheeks, I was indeed crying.  
  
"It's the rain!"  
  
I hurried ahead and left the confused woman behind me. I didn't even realize I was crying. I wrapped my arms around myself and walked faster. I was almost there, this could all end, just a little further. 


	3. Icy Lips

I was walking so fast I almost missed the arms encircling my waist until I was being pulled from the cobblestone walkway.  
  
I was pulled backwards into a dark alley, a stench of vomit and piss evaded my nostrils and I wheezed with the urge to cough.  
  
The strong arms around my waist pulled me into the shadows and pressed me against the brick wall.  
  
Icy cold fingers danced across my face and neck, almost, lovingly.  
  
I felt cold air blow across my neck and I shivered involuntarily, my pale skin broke out into goose bumps, but yet the stranger continued to caress my skin.  
  
The stranger whispered into my ear, I strained to catch what was said, it sounded faint but distinct.  
  
"Hermione."  
  
I broke out into a cold sweat and ripped away from the stranger's seductive ministrations.  
  
A pair of almost white eyes stared back at me with hunger and lust.  
  
"Who the fuck are you?" I whispered fiercely.  
  
The man approached as if he was gliding.  
  
"I am what you have been dreaming about for quite some time."  
  
The laugh emanating from my lips seemed almost to infuriate the man but soon a smirk replaced the anger that was once apparent.  
  
"You cannot possibly be Draco Malfoy."  
  
The man's smirk dropped a little but not disappear altogether. He paused before speaking again.  
  
I blinked in surprise and wonderment as the man who was just standing before me disappeared into thin air.  
  
A pair of lips came into contact with me neck, and my knees crumpled, but the man's arms encircled my waist once more.  
  
"I am what you have been thinking about lately, a way of this world, and I can promise you, it will feel a lot better than jumping off London Bridge."  
  
I whirled around in shock. My eyes narrowed in suspicion and I pursed my lips in anger and curiosity.  
  
"How did I know?" My eyes again widening in surprise was enough of an answer for the beautiful creature standing before me.  
  
"Vampires tend to have a 6th sense about these kind of things and don't try and deny that you weren't going to jump."  
  
By the time the vampire had done speaking, my hand was grasping my throat and I had backed away considerably.  
  
"I'd rather jump thanks." My voice sounded defiant but weak. I glared at the immortal.  
  
"We'll see." And with that, my body was swept forward and my lips in a fiery embrace. 


	4. Indecisive Decision

(A/N) I feel an apology is in order to the confused reviewer. No, the vampire is not Draco, he shall be coming up later in the story.but please stick around for it!  
  
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed.  
  
The stranger's lips where hypnotizing to say the least. I was struggling to breathe and my nails dug into the man's arm to keep from falling.  
  
The man pulled away and smirked. He moved his head to the side of my neck and I felt his hot breath all over my skin.  
  
My soaked shirt was aching to be removed, I needed to be closer to this beautiful creature. I fearfully removed my trembling hands from his arms and within a second they were buried in his chocolate brown hair.  
  
His silken strands were heaven to my fingers; it was if moisture was seeping into my fingers. I could feel again. There was a numbness in my fingers that was slowly spreading through my veins.  
  
A gust of wind blew down upon us and the cold seeped into my spine and my senses were awoken.  
  
I pulled away from the vampire and started running out of the alley. The next thing I know I'm being yanked off my feet and flown straight onto the top of a building.  
  
"What are you playing at? Why can't you just leave me alone and seduce someone else?"  
  
The vampire laughed and came closer.  
  
"I'm not looking for a meal Hermione, I'm looking for you. You are to become one of us."  
  
"No! I'm not going to let this happen, I've suffered enough and I don't want to be apart of this."  
  
The vampire pulled me in his arms holding me tightly. He pulled me up to his mouth.  
  
"Think about the damage you could wreak upon Potter and Weasley. You have been hiding your hate for too long." He kissed me gently and pulled away.  
  
"Who are you?" I whispered. This might not be such a bad idea. I would be immortal; I could take back what was mine! No, this was insane, I was about to kill myself and now I'm about to be the next Queen of the Damned?  
  
"Don't give in to those ridiculous thoughts, this isn't some movie, this is a way to achieve your vengeance." I looked at him in surprise. I forgot he could read my thoughts.  
  
He was right. Maybe I had done something bad to deserve some taunting but Harry and Ron blacklisted me. No one wanted to know who I was, and by god if I carried out this vampires plans, I could be feared. A surge of power flooded through my veins and I felt adrenaline pumping through my entire body. I felt.alive.  
  
"This is going to hurt isn't it?" I looked the vampire in the eye and saw a spark of sympathy for a second.  
  
"A lot less than jumping off a bridge though." He smiled at me and captured my lips in a bruising kiss. I gently pushed away from him.  
  
"What is your name?" My voice sounded husky in my ears. My body hadn't felt this alive in almost half a decade.  
  
"Tristan." He then swooped his head down and the next thing I know, I feel an immense pain sear through my neck.  
  
My last thoughts before the blackness clouded my vision was.what have I done? 


End file.
